The topic at the meeting this morning was gratitude. I have heard rumors of this emotional state, and may have experienced it once, long ago, in a distant galaxy far, far away.
It made me ponder my tendency to sink into the state of pessimistic melancholia. When my eyes blink open in the morning I think: "OK, what's wrong in my world?" I don't even care if nothing is actually wrong in my world because I just assume that something's going to go wrong eventually, and then everything will be really, really bad, and it will never get better.
I have started to feel a sense of wonder and optimism about my new home. The weather is starting to break and we have waded through many of the larger tasks that moving to a new city entails, leaving us time to do some of the fun things that we imagined would be there for the doing. And mark my words: there is no better facilitator to whole-sale change than The Program. I have a huge ready made group of friends in a vibrant sub-community, like pre-packaged chocolate chip cookies. I just have to remove the wrapper, pop the dough into the oven, and Voila! Cookies!
During the course of the day I received some bad news about a car that was damaged while being transported to my new home. This being business, no one will take any responsibility for anything, of course, leaving me with a damaged car. Gratitude? No tengo la gratitud nada nunca no no no. Now my brain knows I have a nice car which is insured, and I have the money to fix it in any case, so all of this is a Problem of Prosperity. But I still feel put out, sunk into the depths of despair because something Bad happened to me.
Dang me.
Dang me.
They oughta take a rope and hang me.
Hang me from the highest tree!
Woman would you weep for me.
Monday, March 7, 2011
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