My first day back I got a phone call from the Guy Who Used To Be My Boss.  He is a large man who talks loudly -- shouts almost -- in a way that can be intimidating.  I think this is why he does it.  He always seemed to be trying to knock me backwards with a belittling or sarcastic remark, hidden under the guise of a joke or manly camaraderie.  (Sarcasm: Hate with a Smile).  What a great technique: say something cruel then pretend it was all in good fun.  There's nothing worse than trying to defend yourself against some mean spirited sniping only to hear: "What?  Can't you take a joke?"

Yes, yes I can.  When it's really a joke. 

Anyway, I was pissed when I hung up the phone.  I argued with him which is something that I rarely do.  This is one of those guys who doesn't fight fair -- he gouges eyes and pulls hair and does . . . you, know . . . groin stuff.  He's a bully.  I was a little light in the meeting department because of all of the traveling so I decided to walk a few miles in a snowstorm to a noon meeting.  You should have seen me trudging through the snow, winning argument after argument with brilliant, irrefutable logic against someone who wasn't actually there.  I was showing him, I can tell you that.  Or I was talking to myself.  I'm lucky I didn't walk into traffic or fall and break some bones.

What made matters worse was that he set up a conference call with his boss for later on in the day.  I assumed that he was going to feed me to the wolves. So I made up my mind: I wasn't going to take any more shit from this man.  I lined up my facts and figures; times, dates, voice mails, lengthy email trails.  I was going to throw him under the bus.  I was going to get fired.  I was going to be falsely accused.  I was going to be hung in effigy.

I spent an entire day doing this.  An entire day, non-stop, arguing with people who weren't there.  I've not spent too much time in psych wards but I imagine this is the kind of behavior you would see: people arguing with spirits.

Do I have to tell you how the call went?  The perfectly pleasant, bland phone call?

I went to bed early that day.  I felt like I had been in a car accident.  Don't let anyone tell you that stress is not a debilitating thing.