Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Adventure: The encountering of danger; an exciting and dangerous undertaking; an unusual, stirring experience, often of romantic nature.

I'm ready for an adventure. The problem with me is that I'm always ready for an adventure. I'm never ready to clean the toilets or cut the grass. But I do feel the need to have my knees buckled by something unbelievable right now. I'm a good alcoholic this way, always looking for the next buzz.

I was fortunate enough when I was pretty newly sober to be able to visit Venice. It was a little complicated getting there -- trains, planes, water taxis, and the like -- and I had not yet mastered the ability to handle any commotion at all. Not that I'm good with fear today but at least it's not a rout anymore. All of the day's travel had triggered a tsunami of fear and angst. I remember like it was yesterday the emotions that swept over me when I stepped out of the train station and the city unfolded in front of me. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. It was like walking into a painting. I had to sit down on the steps of the station and regain my composure. It was the first time I truly understood the concept of culture shock in all of its terrible fury and beauty.

I've spent some time talking to people about acedia -- boredom -- lately. It's a tricky concept. I think in my case a lot can be summed up by the fact that I'm often ungrateful. If I'm bored with what I have then I'm assuming that I want something else. Anything else.

Maybe what you have.