Nature + Nurture = Horseface

Nature: Inborn character; innate disposition; inherent tendencies of a person.
Nurture: All of the environmental factors, collectively, to which the individual is subjected from conception onward.

Such a consistent feeling of guilt and unease I can generate when things are going well. It never ceases to amaze me how uncomfortable I can get when, as Jimi would say, The Good Times Roll.

Part of this I chalk up to my makeup as an alcoholic. I am a great crisis manager. Not as good as I am in creating problems, but still good.

I know my way around problems, both real and imagined. This is an important skill for someone who can generate a pretty good problem out of a little scrap metal and some baling wire, maybe some Gorilla glue. I can make a problem appear where no problem was before.

This is the Nature part.

Part of it is how we grow up. I got a lot of negative reinforcement when I was a kid; a lot of Look Out For The Locomotive. As a current example, my ma called yesterday, sick with a cold, and warned me ". . . not to go out in public." I assume that THERE MIGHT BE GERMS OUT THERE!

This is the Nurture part.

It's OK when things go well.