God and Working on Myself . . . Finally . . . For Once in my Life

I don't know what to call stuff like this: coincidence or serendipity or a God shot.  Whatever.  I love it when it happens.  I wrote my GAD post, picked up my Toltec meditation book, and read this: "Your emotions - regardless of the triggers - are expression of yourself.  Uncomfortable emotions let you know there is a problem to attend to, a wound for you to work on, thus allowing you to see your  own truth.  With awareness, you can observe your uncomfortable emotions, as they may be showing you a belief that you are holding which is no longer true for you."   

Today I am presented with this nugget from the "Into Action" section of the Plain Language Big Book: "Many alcoholics lead double lives.  We are like actors.  When we are around other people, we act like a character on stage, showing them the version of ourselves we want them to see.  We pretend to be people we are not so others will like us.  Psychologists tend to agree that alcoholics struggle to be honest with themselves, and also struggle to be honest with others."

I spent my entire adult life trying to fit in, to be liked by everyone, even people I didn't like or respect.  People-pleasing to the Nth degree.  So it should have come as no surprise that I didn't have a very good idea who I was.  I was shape-shifting to make myself palatable.  Today . . . not so much.  I don't think that it's very hard to get to know me.  I don't think it's very hard to figure out how I act when I'm not in a meeting.  I do enjoy being popular and liked but I don't lose any sleep over it when I'm not