A Vision For Me

One of the passages that is often read at the conclusion is called A Vision For You.  This passage is found in The Big Book during a primer on how to do the Fourth Step which would indicate that good stuff starts to happen very early in the process.  Here's the version found in the Plain Language Big Book: "All sorts of amazing things began to happen for us.  We felt a new sense of purpose.  Everything we needed came to us, so long as we continued to trust in our Higher Power.  We became less interested in ourselves.  We stopped worrying about our little plans and schemes.  Instead, we were interested in seeing how we could contribute to life and how we could help other people.  We felt a new kind of power flow in.  We enjoyed peace of mind, and we discovered we could face life successfully.  As we became aware of God's presence in our lives, we stopped feeling afraid of both the present and the future.  We felt like we had been reborn."

I like the implication that if I quit trying so hard to run the world that I begin to know how to behave, whether to act or to wait patiently, and that this ability just begins to manifest itself.  It isn't something that I have to strain for, pushing and pulling until I'm red in the face.  I find myself thinking: "Oh.  This is what I have to do."  or "Oh.  I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do about this or that right now so maybe I should take a shower and not worry about it" certain in the knowledge that I'll find the answer eventually.

I like the implication that I'm going to STOP THINKING ABOUT MYSELF ALL OF THE TIME!  I used to think about myself all the time; then I started forcing myself to think about other people, gritting my teeth and resentful as hell but doing it anywhere, mostly to escape the wrath of my sponsor; and now I find myself genuinely, truly, naturally thinking about others, no shit, I'm not making this up.  Not all the time but it now comes a lot more naturally.

I like the implication that peace of mind is not some bullshit concept felt in some bullshit text somewhere, that I can look forward to a life where I'm not regretting what I've done or fearing what is going to come next.  And that I have a real purpose in life, that I'm not simply a useless eater taking up valuable space on the planet.