Cherokees again: "There is a time to speak and a time to keep silent, but it takes wisdom to know the time. Most things can only stand one telling and it had better be where it stands a chance to survive. Until that time, don't talk. Feelings are so easily manipulated they can't be trusted as a measure in anything. We stay with bad habits because it feels right. The habit comforts our feeli ngs and the familiar touch makes us believe we can't give it up. Beware of feelings that deceive."
When I was drinking I had this persistently terrible habit of talking when I should have kept my mouth shut and remaining silent when I needed to say something. My instincts were as bad as they could get. I made people cringe. I made people ask: "Why didn't you say something?" I was charging ahead or hanging back, almost always inappropriately.
As a joke sometimes I'll grab a member around the shoulders when they're leaving the meeting, lean in closely, and say in a conspiratorial air: "Do me favor - try not to talk today." It's not bad advice, actually. If I don't talk I don't get into trouble.
In my morning Quiet Time I repeat our beloved Serenity Prayer, actually trying to pay attention to the meaning behind the words instead of repeating them in a robotic manner, and then I paraphrase it in a way that makes more practical sense to me: "If I'm suppoused to do something, help me do it; if I'm not suppoused to do anything, help me wait patiently, and show me which is which." Often I'll ponder a real world circumstance, one where I think I need to do something, and ask for an intuitive thought if and when I'm supposed to actually do something, which isn't very much of the time. Usually my intuitive thought is to keep my fucking mouth closed.
"Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt."
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