Saturday, February 18, 2023

Time Takes Time

 An unfortunate fact of recovery is that we have to talk about our problems and failures and that overcoming them is a painfully slow process.  It's a slog.  We've spent so much time bullshitting everyone in our lives (to less effect than we imagine) and ourselves (to a much more damaging degree than we care to admit) that we can often no longer tell the difference between the facts and the . . . well . . . the bullshit.  I used to tell stories in sobriety that I'm not sure were even true - I had spread these fabrications for so long that I believed them.  "Hmmm," I thought, after one particularly implausible anecdote.  "I don't think I ever did that."   The only wise move on my part was to restrict these lies, for the most part, to stuff that couldn't easily be checked up on.  I would not, for instance, tout my field goal percentage over a long NFL career.

My buddy LSD Jack has been feeling uncomfortable lately.  Disconnected, but not disconnected to mention often how long he's been sober using a definition of "sober" that most of us would shake our heads at.  I have stopped trying to explain that using a little cocaine now and again - little "bump" before he calls it - isn't a true definition of sobriety.  Today I just remind him that when I'm feeling off I usually find that I'm behaving in a way that makes me uncomfortable.  I have another friend who recently admitted that he had been using a CBD oil and that this had led him to some kind of THC product.  "I'm not sure I'm really sober," he said in a meeting.

I am responsible for most of what happens to me.  Not very  much happens to me that I didn't cause and most of my motivations and habits patterns are obscured from my conscious self - I'm usually operating on autopilot.  Past behavior is the most reliable predictor of future behavior.  We keep doing what we've been doing and why is this?  Autopilot.  

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