I Am Not Old!

 More from Dr. Gordon Livingston . . . 

"The problems of the elderly are frequently serious but seldom interesting.  What the elderly fear is their own demise, and indications of aging are simply unwanted reminders of our mortality.  This is the cosmic joke.  Fate or God or whoever is running this show appears to have said, 'I will give you dominion over all other forms of life.  BUT you will be the only species able to complete your death.'"

I often think of our beloved cat at the very end.  This animal who never went outside and who loathed water just walked out the door and strolled slowly down to the small pond at the end of the street and waded into the water where she looked at her own reflection for a while.  Then she climbed back onto the bank and flopped down and refused to move.  She didn't complain or worry about it - she simply knew that it was all over.  "I think I'm done here," she seemed to be saying.

"Our senior citizens sometimes appear to exist in order to annoy everyone else with their slowness and physical complaints.  The idea that the elderly have anything to give the young in the way of wisdom and life experience is seldom considered.  The reason: most old people are preoccupied with self-centered complaints.  I am of the opinion that the old have a duty to suffer the losses of age with as much grace and determination as they can muster and to avoid inflicting their discomforts on those who love them."

Quit bitching.  Quit complaining.  You've probably got it good.  No one wants to listen to you bitch.

"Many old people report the feeling of invisibility experienced by other minorities.  This takes the form of being ignored in stores by salespeople, seeing few desirable reflections of themselves in popular culture, and above all, no longer being treated as if they have anything useful to say."

I think often of how cultures used to be oriented around the wisdom of The Elders.  It wasn't the young and strong who had the final say in many matters.  The young and strong deferred.  Another blessing of The Program is that those of us who are no longer young are often seen at time-tested carriers of The Message.  We have a wisdom that transcends knowledge by including experience.  You can beef up your knowledge but the School of Hard Knocks is going to deliver the experience.  We also get to hang around with people who are younger than us, sometimes a lot younger.  This is good and healthy for the elderly and for the youth.  Don't hang around with people who look like you!  

"Perhaps our final obligation is to sustain the physical and psychological blows that accompany our aging with a dignity that eschews self-pity.  If we can retain our good humor and interest in others even as the curtain closes, we will have contributed something of inestimable value to those who survive us.  We will have thereby fulfilled our final obligation to them and expressed our gratitude for the gift of life that we, undeserved, have been given and that we have enjoyed for so long."

SuperK gets annoyed at me from time to time when I mention the aging process.  Part of this is a lazy habit; part is the result of being raised by a woman who was unreasonably obsessed with danger and illness.  I was taught to worry that something bad was going to happen.  While it's okay to be aware of adverse consequences this mindset can be a bridge too far.  I don't live my life like I'm afraid of everything but sometimes I talk that way.  There isn't anything too stupid that it can't be absorbed into my subconscious by repeating it over and over, with great seriousness.