Just Don't Tell Anyone

 I continue to be bamboozled stunned amazed at the degree to which the social divisions in our country have seeped into Alcoholics Anonymous . . . or at least that I perceive believe sense that they have entered The Rooms.  Maybe I'm more sensitive to it, more bitchy, more defensive and while I'm sure all of these things apply to a certain degree, but in talking to people I respect in recovery I'm getting these views affirmed.  It's a trend that may or may not be contributing to the lower attendance that The Program has these days - something I hear from people all around the country so I know this isn't unique to Ventura.

I was walking along the beach yesterday when I spied a dude from recovery that I know quite well.  He and I are definitely on different sides of the police barricade when it comes to social issues such as the struggle between personal freedom and social responsibility, matters that don't have a clear demarcation between right and wrong.  People see these issues differently.  This is why some people build a cabin in the middle of nowhere.  They don't want to have to deal with other people.

It wasn't clear whether this guy didn't see me or that he was willfully ignoring me but he was going to just walk on by.  I drifted into his line of sight.  I don't want to hold onto resentments.  Pre-social division he and I were able to talk about non-controversial things.  I knew we were very different people so we weren't ever going to be close friends but I've always thought that one of the great strengths of AA is that "we are people who would not ordinarily mix."  It does me good to listen to different viewpoints.  And this dude never, ever misses a meeting and he gets there an hour early so that people adrift know there's going to be somewhere there who will lend an ear.  That's important for AA.  Guys like me that show up ten minutes early don't provide that outlet.

Anyway, we chatted briefly about nothing in particular until the conversation landed on a cruise that both of us were pondering.  My big reservation to actually booking the cruise is that it's unclear what would happen if you get sick right before - or even during the cruise.  Would you have to quarantine? That would cost me a lot of money.  I don't want to go on a cruise to sit in my room.

"Just don't tell anyone," he said.

OK, we're done here.  If you think I'm a fool for worrying about something that is unlikely to happen so be it.  If you think I'm a fool for worrying about how my behavior will affect someone else then you're pretty selfish.  If I get sick that's one thing.  If I get someone else sick - or maybe more than one person - then that's another thing entirely.

You see the tension here?  When do I get to do exactly what I want and when do I have to take into account how this affects other people?