It's Probably You

  Balance:  A condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions; mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgement, etc.

I am sponsoring this guy from New Jersey.  He revealed recently the fact that I am his sponsor which was news to me, and also quite amusing, from my point of view.  Since he's from Jersey he's . . . hmmmm . . . a straightforward guy to deal with.  I'm fine with that.  I'd rather know where I stand with someone that suspect that they're telling me what I want to hear, whatever that is.  I'm also amused that I have had approximately zero success sponsoring California natives - everyone who is drawn to my personality and particular way of working The Twelve Steps seem to come from east of the Mississippi.  The Blunt side of the Mississippi.

Anyway, dude shared with me something that is going on with a work colleague that's along the lines of an argument or pissing contest or clash of wills.  This guy is awfully assertive so I'm guessing he's got a part in this, maybe a big part.  But who knows?  Maybe the guy he's dealing with is an asshole.  I'm not there.  He's the one who knows the circumstances and he's the one who has to live with the blow-back.  I'm not in the business of telling anyone what to do.  I don't have that kind of wisdom or that kind of power.  There's probably all kinds of fault to be tossed into the wind, willy-nilly.

So first of all I texted him a couple of quotes from our literature that suggest that we're often at fault.  We can be bad actors who allow our self-will to run rampant.  Then I sent a few that point out even if we're in the right and the other person is in the wrong we're still the blessed individual who has the benefit of this magnificent Program.  A line that goes around in the Seaweed household when one or the other of us is struggling with a relationship: "Who's the one with The Program?"  This comment produces a reaction that initially ranges from irritating to infuriating to enraging, but the receiving party almost always sees the wisdom, eventually at least.  

Finally, I added the line that "As God's people we stand on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone."

I forewarned my friend because I led off with the "you're the asshole" part of the information.  I didn't want to be on the receiving end of the quick Jersey trigger.  Work through your progressions: it's probably you; if it's not you then it's important to go the extra mile; and, finally, we only take a certain amount of shit.