Self-Centered Everything

Self:  One individual's personality, character, disposition, or demeanor.

"The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear - primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded.  Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration."  P 76 12&12

So . . . am I not getting what I want?  Or I am being forced into a situation that is not to my liking?  Continuously disturbed.  I demand something!  You . . . are . . . . SO . . . . frustrating.

"We consider our plans for he day.  Before we begin (our meditation), we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.  We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only.  We may ask for ourselves, however, if others may be helped.  PP 86-7 

I'm pretty sure I enjoy being unhappy.  There's no other explanation for all of the time I spend trying to make myself unhappy, especially focusing on why I'm not getting what I want or why I'm being made to do something I don't want to do.  That and focusing on people I barely know - or don't know at all - and all the ways that they're screwing up existence.  There is so much pleasantness inherent in my existence, yet I look elsewhere, I look away, look away, look away.

Do you have a dog in that fight?