Year of the Pig

I notice that today is the Lunar New Year.  Year of the Pig, baby.

Here's what progress looks like when you put all progress on hiatus . . . 

SuperK and I went on our first cruise in January.  Let's say that it was a lot more fun than I would have expected but not fun enough to jump right back on a cruise.  We were a little younger than the average cruise person (or Cruiser) and a lot more mobile.  Plus the entertainment was either Lawrence Welk-ish or Henny Youngman-esque.  In other words they didn't have a Black Sabbath themed party at any point.

The Cruisers were generally privileged North Americans.  I'm pretty privileged but these people were goddam privileged - so there was a lot of bitching about stuff that didn't seem to be that important.  This was a slightly irritating background buzz as a general rule although from time to time it increased in pitch and intensity, trying my already questionable patience in the best of times, non-existent patience after a couple of weeks without a meeting.

We were on a tour bus during one shore excursion, sitting right behind a couple we had already heard doing a lot of bitching about the cruise in general while they were adding some specific bitching about life on the bus.  When we arrived at our destination I stood up to retrieve my light backpack from the overhead shelf.  The guy, still seated, turns to me and says quite clearly: "Try to do a better job getting that down than you did putting it up - you hit me in the head."

As a general rule stuff like this doesn't bother me.  I'm pretty low-key and I don't care what someone else thinks of me.  My typical response to a dick like this would be to apologize and move on with my day.  I've learned how helpful it is to pause a beat, remembering my favorite phrase "restraint of tongue and pen."

So I paused a beat.   I paused several more beats.  I pondered the making of amends and the sleeping well at night.  Then I leaned over him and said quite clearly: "How'd I do?"  I was aware that this wasn't going to fall into the category of Good Behavior but I did it anyhow.

He was incensed.

My wife heard the entire exchange.  She, too, thought this guy was a dick and that he got the response he deserved.

Here's the thing about trying to lead a spiritual life: it's not about anyone else.  It's about me.  It's about me behaving well.  I don't get to roll around in the rhetorical gutter and still feel good about myself.  So SuperK and I started in on this process of balance and perspective.

We start with "he's a dick and he got what he deserved."
We move to "he's a dick but I should have kept my mouth closed."
We speculate on his life: maybe he's sick or in pain or just lost a child or good friend to cancer.  Maybe his dad beat the hell out of him when he was young.  

You never know what someone is dealing with.  This is why I have to go the extra mile to behave well.  I'm the one with The Program.  I have an incredible support network to help me deal with the vagaries of life.