The Bonker and The Bonkee

Promptly:  Acting quickly; without delay; both soon and quickly.

Annoying Step 10 asks that we correct any problems with our behavior as quickly as possible.  It's a very irritating Step, especially for one who has so few faults.  One of my main justifications for trying to behave properly is avoiding the face-to-face amend.  I hate admitting that I'm at fault.

When we returned to the ship after my interaction with the backpack-bonked guy, well along in our discussion of who was at fault and who should have known better and who needed to clean up my . . . er, his . . . side of the street, we stopped by the dining room to have lunch outside.  As I walked through the sliding doors who should I see sitting a couple of tables over?  I avoided eye contact and set the allegedly offending backpack down at a table, all the while pondering the amend I knew I had to make.  Our only exemption to an apology is if it would hurt someone else.  Personal humiliation doesn't fall into the category of "someone else."  Besides I had already hurt this guy.  Allegedly.

So I walk over to his table and say: "How is your head doing?"  In retrospect this was a piss-poor apology because I didn't . . . you know . . . apologize.

Still holding his cutlery he looked up and stared at me.  I thought that he didn't hear what I said or he was having trouble placing me so I repeated my non-apology, and he continued to stare.   It dawned on me, as I stood there stupidly,  that I was witnessing in the flesh the manifestation of the phrase "if looks could kill."  His wife jumped in and told me that everything was fine, dismissing me from their presence.  The bonkee continued to stare, head frozen in place, knife and fork suspended above his plate.  I walked back to my table and ate my lunch.

I dislike learning painful lessons.  I avoid these tasks, believing painful lessons are best learned by watching other people in pain solve their problems.  But my Higher Power uses a tremendous sense of humor to help me power through the discomfort.  The cruise ship had 650 guests and 450 crew members - 1100 people if you do the math.  By the end of the cruise I would still walk by people that I didn't recall ever seeing.  The dude who vexed me and his wife?  I couldn't open the door to our room without running into him.  He seemed to have undergone some type of cloning procedure because that guy was everywhere.

I had, however, completely made my way through the amend process and I was at peace.  That's one of our blessings - admitting a fault without expectation.  I apologized - sort of - and I was done with it.  Bonkee clearly was not.