A Thing That Really Sucked

Suck:  To be inferior or objectionable.

The chairman of my morning meeting is a guy that I don't like very much, if "by don't like very much" you mean "can't stand."  He has been sober a long time and is very knowledgeable about the history of The Fellowship - which I like - but he talks at every meeting and he talks far too long, both of which annoy the hell out of me,  probably because it deprives me of the chance to speak at every meeting and at great length.  Irregardless, I always greet him and I always try to concentrate on the good in what he says instead of getting irritated at the things about him that I don't like.

He practices a brand of spirituality that I'm going to be immersed in when I travel to India so I took a minute to tell him about our trip.  He mentioned that there are a couple of official religions there that don't see eye to eye (imagine that - groups of people associated with a religious group that don't get along) and, as a result, tend to self-segregate.

"Well, we do a pretty good job of that here, too," I mused.  I think this is an understandable human characteristic - if you like Fruity Peebles and your lodge is pouring bowls of Count Chocula every day your best bet is to find another breakfast spot.  Proclaiming loudly "I don't like Fruity Peebles" over and over isn't going to get you too far.

"You know what I mean," he said, pausing a minute before adding that we'd all be better off if a politician he didn't like would only vacate his office, using a terrible epithet to modify as horrible a racial slur as you could imagine.  It was unclear to me how he managed to segue from a discussion about religious practices to this disturbing conclusion.

I reacted as if I had been punched in the stomach.

"Don't say that," I said.

"I think I said something I shouldn't have said," he remarked.

I was walking away at that point, showing him a lot of back.

"You shouldn't have said that.  You shouldn't have said that."  I wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible.  I don't know what made me feel worse - that he said what he said or that he somehow, some way, thought I would be receptive to that kind of remark.  Why do people who can feel such hate feel so comfortable expressing it openly?  What did he see in me that made him think I'm a racist?  He's probably not thinking about me at all.

So, when he next talks, how do you think I'm going to react?  He's toast.  I won't accept a single thing he utters as worthwhile now because I got to see the filth underneath the veneer.

This Program - indeed, any spiritual program - preaches love and kindness and understanding and tolerance.  If you don't feel these things - and all of us, from time to time, aren't going to feel these things - then your spirituality is sucking, and whether that is a temporary state or a permanent one is up to you to decide.