A Call Too Late

I spoke to a friend of mine yesterday who quit his job in a hailstorm of "#%!! yous" and "Go #%!! yourselfs."  He had called the day  before so when I saw his number pop up on my caller ID I figured something was up.  I didn't agree with what he had done and thought he got what he deserved but I didn't say so during the call.  He felt bad about what he had done - he called his boss the next day to try to retrieve his job, with predictable results - so I didn't see the need to pile on.

I mulled it over and sent him this note this morning.

"Upon further reflection . . .

I say these things so that I may hear them for myself.  They come out of my own experience, not any one else's.  Your day yesterday made me think about myself and how I behave, is all I'm saying.

I try never to act when I'm angry, pissed, frustrated, upset, angry, angry, or angry.  It never works out well for me.  Especially with my wife.  I can say the same thing later and get a better response - after I've calmed down, done some writing,  talked to someone, got my thoughts in order.

Sometimes from trauma comes pleasure.  Sometimes I just will not make the changes I need to make until I'm in a world of hurt.  Moving from The Old City to The New City comes to mind.  We had sold our house and were looking at apartments there - we wanted to visit some other towns and decide where we wanted to end up.  SuperK said: "If we were going to stay here we shouldn't have sold the house."  So we moved to The New City in the dead of night.  I can remember sitting in a hotel at the airport waiting for our stuff to arrive, all of our valuables and important papers stuffed into a few suitcases, no place secured to move into, watching the rain fall, thinking: "WTF have I just done?"  But I might still be in The Old City if we hadn't made that leap of faith.  Everyone in The Old City thought we were crazy but it was time to move and I'm not sure we had the guts to do it without that leap of faith.  

I never do well when I'm not regular with my meetings.  Some people can do it but I'm not one of them.  Should you choose you're now in a position to step up your program.  Maybe talk about what just happened - I bet you get support, advice, etc that you never excepted.

I try never to beat myself up for what I've done.  I make decisions to the best of my ability.  Some of 'em work out and some of 'em don't.  Welcome to life.  If they work out I try to enjoy them and if they don't I try to learn a lesson.  It's ridiculous for me to think it's going to be one smooth ride.

Spoken without judgment and so that I can hear myself speak."

Here's the deal - call before running your mouth.