Baffled

Baffle:  To bewilder completely; confuse or perplex.

Intuitively handle things which used to baffle us.   This is one of The Promises that I find especially powerful.  It fits nicely with my understanding of The Serenity Prayer: help me not to be afraid to do what I'm supposed to, help me wait patiently when I'm not supposed to do anything, and let me know which is which.  I believe I'm better today at taking action - I'm not so impressed with my ability to wait patiently, preferring to charge ahead into the future and make things go according to my own wishes.  I'm a fixer.  

You got a problem?  I can fix that.  (Ed. Note: except for a technical glitch in my ability to access my blogger account since July 1st, requiring the assistance of the brilliantly capable SuperK).

Ironically enough most of the time when I don't know what to do and I can keep my six-shooter in the holster, then things work out just fine.  There's an ebb and flow to life, far out of my control or understanding, and it's all great in the long run.  When I wait patiently, then answers come, problems are solved, veils are lifted, fogs evaporate, all becomes clear.

But, man, is it hard for a talented superstar like me to sit and wait because I have the answers to everything.  I know what everyone else should be doing to make my life more pleasant.  I know what god should be doing to make my life more pleasant.

I also see that I overestimate my ability to rise above the human condition.  I believe that I handle things with greater calm and patience than I used to and that I'm continuing to improve - nonetheless, I get frustrated when I haven't reached perfection.  Don't we say: "Progress, not perfection?"  My time in recovery has been very productive but clearly I have a long way to get somewhere or the other.