Cool Prayer

More about prayer, my new favorite thing to do, even though I am far too cool to pray, being more of a very cool Eastern philosophy meditation guy, which I can't do worth a shit . . . 

The problem with my praying pre-Program was that I prayed at things; I was a Prayer On Demand kind of guy.  I knew what I needed to be happy and I asked to get these things post-haste or, better yet,  to have impediments to my happiness removed.  Generally speaking I'm more interested in avoiding pain than obtaining pleasure, although it's a close call.  The Book addresses this deficiency: it says that we may ask for anything whatsoever as long as we add the qualifier: Thy Will Be Done.  Or: Your Will Be Done.  Or: Dude, Whatever seems cool to you.  There's also the suggestion that we can pray for whatever we want as long as what we get is in some way a help to others; this seems like a total waste of time to me, seeing as I'm pretty detached from the well-being of others, worried that it may take some of the pie off of my plate.

My uncool mother, who I've never seen meditate but who prays a lot, says that it's OK to ask for whatever I want.  She thinks my god or higher power isn't too worried about my selfishness.  She doesn't think I'm going to pull the wool over god's eyes.  The praying is for me - it's not for god.  That made me mad until I tried it and found it worked just fine.  I do believe that if I add the They Will Be Done to the end of whatever outrageous crap I'm coming up with I have my bases covered.  That phrase is kind of like Liability Insurance - it covers all ills.

Now, how can I make praying cool?