Bedroom Stories

I woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed.  This is better than the old days when I woke up under the bed or on top of the bed, fully clothed, with what could only be a dead animal living inside my mouth.  Ah, good memories.  A guy at the meeting yesterday said he never woke up when he was drinking: he came to. I can identify with that.

I'm looking forward to winter ending so that I can get outside again.  I'm looking forward to staunching the outflow of money.  And, frankly, I'm a bit weary of all the change.  I feel like I stepped out of my old life but haven't stepped into my new life yet.  This is, of course, the whole idea of change -- going from  something old to something new.  I'm one of those odd people who really tries to embrace change.   It makes me uncomfortable but it makes me try new things.  Today I'm a tired of trying new things.  I wish I was bored at the moment; it would be a relief to be bored for a couple of hours, with nothing big on the horizon.

I need to make a better effort focusing on what is good rather than what is bad, or that I perceive as bad, or could turn bad.  Whenever I feel the stress amp up I tend to drift into negative reflection.  "How will you be screwed?  Let me count the ways," my head is saying.   Funny, though, I can just hear someone else in my head saying: "Maybe you should make a gratitude list."  I can hear my sponsor saying: "Why don't you bring this up as a topic at the jail tonight."  That's a really irritating one when I'm fretting about Stuff and My Circumstances. 

I can hear all kinds of irritating suggestions.  Maybe I should take one of them.