Ancient Runes

As I have been navigating this stressful series of events, which I should point out that I set in motion myself, willingly, of my own volition, a free man with a sane mind, sometimes, at least, I am aware of a much lessened ability to focus on what is good and instead concentrate on what is not  -- and there's nothing better than bitching mightily when one is the cause of one's own discomfort.  I'm comfortable with pain and failed dreams, not with admitting I'm living the dream. 

So I was at a meeting recently when an old friend talked about the dreaded Gratitude List.  You know the idea -- writing down in black ink on white paper all that you should be grateful for.  The hair on the back of my neck snapped to attention just writing the word gratitude.  Gratitude is an ancient rune chiseled into the rock of distant planet, many thousands of light years away.  I don't do gratitude.  I prefer seething with hidden resentments.

"Oh, the Gratitude List," I winced.  There's something about writing.  It takes all of those vague, delusional thoughts ricocheting around in my mind and organizes them.  I don't really understand how it happens but once I start to write, then look at what I've written, the world comes into better focus.

I made a few lists.  I don't have any problems, really.