So I begin trying to alarm the bride to be at the coffee shop every morning. I threaten to talk two hours or maybe two minutes, to flail each of them mercilessly, to encourage audience participation, on and on it goes, straining my imagination, getting more and more outlandish.
She is nonplussed. "Sounds good," she says. "Whatever." I'm not sure why I thought I could unsettle someone who picks me to conduct a legally binding wedding ceremony.
Today I asked if I could use bad words.
"What kind of bad words?" she said.
"Well, let's say I was to call Jimbo a dumb blankety blank." I reply.
She thought about this for a minute. "I don't know about the blankety part," she said. "But you can call him a dumb blank. I do that all the time."
I have great friends.
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