The Future of Circumstances

I am definitely one of those guys who spends way too much time engaged in the losing proposition of imagining future happiness . . . as soon as circumstances change.  "I'll be happy when," I say to myself.  At least I'm sure I'll be happier than I am now.  And the point isn't whether I'll be happier or not, or whether I'm relatively happy right today.  The point is that I crap all over the present, which is the only time that I have available to me.  Sometimes the future ends up being worse.  "Shit," I say.  "I wasted a whole nice day trying to get into the future and it ended up being crappier."

I need to position myself in the here & now, and not in the what ifs.  Get with The Program.  Today is the day.  Tomorrow may never come.  I could get hit by a bus today.  I could get hit by a much smaller car, too, like a Toyota Yaris, which would be just as deadly as a bus given its much larger mass and velocity vis-a-vis my 180 pounds.  Why is everyone so obsessed with getting hit by buses, anyway?  Maybe they're not; maybe it's me.  Anyway, it's foolish to think that my life could be snuffed out by a bus or a falling anvil or a runaway grand piano which has gotten away from some cartoonish movers and crushes me after it rolls down a steep hill, which I do not live on.  I guess with the piano scenario I'd have to be out running some errands in a hilly area.

I get restless and bored and start imagining the circumstances of a pleasant future where everything is set up to provide me with maximum pleasure, maximum happiness, Max Power.  Meanwhile perfectly fine todays march off into an endless distance, alone and unloved.

Max Power would be a better nickname than Horseface Steve.