Apology:  An acknowledging and expressing regret for a fault, injury, insult, etc.; asking a person's pardon.

Apology Incoming.

I also believe that a very important benefit of the apology process is that we learn how to accept an apology.  We learn how to forgive someone else.  On the rare occasions that one of my drunken, drug-addled friends apologized for something the general tone of my response was "Goddam right, you're sorry."  I felt like I had won a contest.  It made no difference to me whether or not I was owed an apology in the first place.  Mostly, I wanted to feel superior.  YOU wronged ME.

I was so disarmed by the fact that many, many people were gracious and forgiving to me when I was making my amends.  For these good souls, that was the end of it.  I thought I was going to be slaughtered, especially when I was revealing an action that might have gone unnoticed.  There was never an end to it with me.  I was a master of the Eternal Grudge.  The Hatfields and the McCoys and the Horsefaces.  Maybe the Hatfields and McCoys could no longer remember what they were feuding about, but I sure could.  I never forgot a slight, real or imagined.

It feels good to forgive someone.  It takes all of the power out of the grudge.  The anger and frustration and resentment that used to rule my life has waned to a dull roar.  It's not gone but it's no longer my master.  I start to understand that sometimes people just make mistakes.  And everybody is bedeviled by a spiritual malady or two, not just me.

Finally, I believe that we owe people the opportunity to forgive us.  I think it's an important part of the process.  If they want to get mad, that's fine.  But a lot of people want to be magnanimous.  It's like not beeping your car horn when someone irritates you with their driving expertise.  Maybe someone made a mistake or is lost. 

I have started to accept compliments in my life, on the rare occasions that I receive them.  I used to wave them off, believe that the giver of the compliment was lying or being insincere.  Now I say: "Thanks."  It's not right to deny someone the pleasure of handing out a compliment.

Sheesh.