My cash.

I'm going to refinance my home today. I'm really quite nervous about it. It's not like I've never signed a mortgage before and this is going to save me some money. But I'm still edgy.

Probably the issue is that money is involved. I have a sneaking suspicion that these people are going to try to separate me from my money, even though this has not been the case in the past. I'm just assuming it's going to happen this time. Maybe it's that these people shuffle documents in front of me like a card shark: "Sign here, initial here. DNA sample -- spit in this test tube. Juggle these three pieces of paper while balancing our pen -- you can take it home with you, too! -- on your nose. OK, we're almost done here, just 38 more legal documents to sign."

I think the goal is to get you so numb with the signing -- "Don't worry about this one -- it simply gives us the right to kill you slowly if you lie or even make a mistake" -- so that when they slip in the rustproofing and undercoating on the last page you overlook it. I mean, have you seen the printing on those documents? It looks like the Magna Carta. I couldn't read it in a day, and I know how to read.

P.S.: Everything went fin.