I'd Like To Order Some Better Promises, Please

Promise: Indication, as of a successful prospect or future; basis for expectation.

I remember the first time I heard about the famous Promises. I was sitting in a meeting, still off-gassing a toxic stew of alcohol fumes and THC residue. The fatty white matter in my brain was releasing all kinds of trace chemicals from the illegal street drugs and illegally procured legal medication that I had taken to ease all of my ills and chase away all of my demons. Funny story about LSD: it actually produces more demons than it vanquishes. We should have more government oversight on the folks marketing these chemicals. There is a lot of deceptive advertising going on in this field.

I licked my chops and prepared to feast on the certainty of fast Italian sports cars, fast Italian models, and the awesome, absolute power to crush anyone who stood in my way. Money! Power!! Sex!!! These concepts were being presented to me as promises. Not Horseface type promises, which were usually delivered in an attempt to escape some misery or obtain some chemical well-being, but real, honest-to-God promises from people purporting to live a spiritual lifestyle.

Imagine my horror to discover a lot of what I considered flimsy platitudes. Freedom from fear? Peace of mind? A sense of well-being? Not what I was looking for. I thought that I had the key to those things, and his name was Jack Daniels. I was hoping for tangible stuff. I wanted to put my hands all over these Promises and party with them all night long.

Obviously I was a meeting last night where we talked about gratitude.