Was today an ordinary day, one filled with the usual events, the same people, the same routine? If nothing unusual or out-of-the-ordinary happened, are we now feeling a little ho-hum about the day's predictable pattern?
Before we came into The Program, our lives were like roller coaster rides. We'd either be on a downward plunge or an upward lift of ecstasy. We kept going from high to high and calling our highs happiness. Today our lives aren't so dramatic nor filled with such radical swings. Because we can't equate our happiness with those highs, we are often uncomfortable with feelings that don't include ecstasy or depression. Today we feel contentment, cheerfulness, and peace. I complained to a sponsor once about being bored and he said: "I think you're confusing serenity with boredom."
I've always said that I wanted every day to be Friday night - before a week of vacation - and I had six beers under my belt and I was tripping and I was right at the top of the first big hill on the baddest roller coaster in the land, everything in sync, everything working, the drugs and alcohol holding off, overwhelming the inevitable anxiety and fear for a little while, just a little while . . .
Not the way to live.
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