Serious Seaweed is Dead

Serious: Without humor or expression of happiness; grave in manner or disposition.

"I do not look upon the promise of serenity as referring only to the afterlife. I do not look upon this life as something to be struggled through. In temporal and material things, I must submit to limitations. I know that I cannot see the road ahead. I must go just one step at a time, because God does not grant me a longer view. I believe that in the spiritual world, as in the material world, there is no empty space. As fears and worries and resentments depart out of my life, the things of the spirit come in to take their places."

One of the great gifts of my sobriety is that I have gained the ability to laugh at myself. Boy, did I take myself seriously when I was drinking. Everything was a huge fucking deal. I was offended easily. I took offense when none was intended. I assumed every word and action was meant to criticize me in some way and if you had the gall to laugh at me, man where you on my permanent shit list. Today I roar out loud at the stuff I do. If I stumble over a curb or walk around with a schmear of mustard on my face or forget to close the old barn door after I take a leak I draw attention to it. I'm ridiculous, you're ridiculous, we're all ridiculous from time to time. And because I laugh at myself so easily people let me talk to them in a way that would have caused a fistfight in the day. People like to have a lighthearted view of themselves. They usually enjoy having their foibles exposed.

A friend of mine here in Ventura once said: "Seaweed, I am immune to your sarcasm." Willie interrupted me once after a meeting in Cincinnati as I was scorching his hide in front of a new guy: "This is what Seaweed does when he loves you. It's how he expresses his affection."

If I'm abusing you then I love you. I get away with this because you cannot offend me. I just don't take myself seriously any more.