Willpower

"You were meant to be at home and comfortable in the world.  Yet some people live a life of quiet desperation.  This is the opposite of being at home and at peace in the world.  Let your peace of mind be evident to those around you.  Let others see that you are comfortable and seeing it, know that it springs from your trust in a Higher Power.  The dull, hard way of resignation is not God's way."

"I don't know shit."  A member of A.A.

There were 11 people at the meeting today: two homeless people (who attend regularly, maybe for the coffee instead of for the meeting); 4 people with less than 30 days; one guy with 3 months and a woman with about a year; and a couple of us with multiple years.  At first I was irked about the low attendance but boy, do I feel grateful now.

Sometimes the most painful and unpleasant experiences lead to the best outcomes.  I was decommissioned for a job once - taken off a salary and losing benefits like health care, a car allowance, expenses, and the like - which was the worst thing that ever happened to me.  A couple of years later I'm making the most money I've ever made and experiencing the most job satisfaction that I've ever felt, operating my own little sales company as the CEO, CFO, and CTO, marveling at the best thing that ever happened to me.  Or, "I don't know shit."  I know what is good action to take but I don't know what outcomes are in my best interest.

"It is when we try to make our will conform with God's that we begin to use it rightly.  To all of us, this was a most wonderful revelation.  Our whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower.  We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God's intention for us."  12&12, P. 40.