Thursday, July 25, 2019

Tell Me a Story, Seaweed

Analogy:  A relationship of resemblance or equivalence between two situations, people, or objects, especially when used as a basis for explanation or extrapolation.

Often when I'm reading our literature I find some of the concepts kind of abstract.  "Restraint of tongue and pen," for instance, has a lovely ring to it but what does that mean, exactly?  Often a clear light is thrown on the concept when someone tells a story or uses an analogy.  For instance, "I was having a minor argument with my wife last week which seemed to be winding down with no consequences when I felt the need to get in the last word and I've been sleeping on the couch ever since" - THAT makes a lot of sense to me.  It brings the concept alive.  That's some real world shit.

I recently flew back to The Old City for a brief visit.  Because my flight arrived late in the day I decided to stay at an airport hotel and then get the trip going in earnest the next morning, clear-headed and well-rested.  The one caveat in selecting the hotel was that it provided a shuttle.  Unfortunately for me I didn't notice that the shuttle for my pre-paid room only operated until midnight, and my plane arrived around that time.  So as soon as I landed I called their front desk and inquired about a pick-up, saying that I didn't want to miss the last shuttle.  This was at 11:40.

"Oh, he's made his last stop already," the clerk said.

I was piqued.  I was ticked.

"Um, your website said the shuttle ran until midnight," I pointed out with admirable calm.

"Oh, he works until midnight," she replied.  "That's when he clocks out.  So to clock out at midnight he makes his last run before then."

You know, I'm fine with that logic but you should then indicate that the shuttle runs until 11:30.  If I can't get on the shuttle then the shuttle isn't operating.  I paused for a second, debating whether or not to explain to her that I didn't give a shit what hours this guy was working - I wanted to know when the shuttle was operating.  I'm not with the Department of Labor - I'm the CEO of Stevie Seaweed, LLC.  You can work this guy until the blood vessels in his eyes rupture for all I care.

So I said "OK, thank you," and I hung up while she was still . . . you know . . . kind of talking.  Technically I didn't lose restraint of my tongue or my pen but it was a jerkish thing to do.  It was an unacceptable loop-hole.

I called an Uber which took me to the hotel for $9.80.  I would have tipped the shuttle driver $5 so this wasn't a financial thing where I was incensed over the $4.80 bounty I had to pay  - it was a Stevie Seaweed, CEO, being inconvenienced, thing.

There's another phrase which reads "when we were wrong promptly admitted it."  Not a lot of nuance in this phrase.

When I walked into the hotel I recognized the voice of the woman behind the front desk.  I explained that I was the guy who had called about the shuttle and that I wanted to apologize for being short with her.  I told her it was rude.  I attempted to exploit zero loop-holes.  I did not attempt to explain why I was rude; namely, that her website lied to me.  I just apologized.

As is my experience in these matters she was gracious.  She insisted that I hadn't done anything impolite and, if I had, it could be chalked up to jet lag and a long day of travel.  Possibly she was indeed a gracious person or maybe I hadn't behaved badly at all or even that she was being a good customer service representative who didn't take the shit I had dished out personally.  Probably all of these apply.

I went to bed with a clear conscience.

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