Deciding to Change

Decision:  A choice or judgment.

When I find something unacceptable to me I turn this person, place, or thing over to my Higher Power.  Unfortunately it's only after I've done everything humanly possible to bend this person, place, or thing to my will.  While it's great that I usually get to the point that I turn things over it's perplexing as to why I make myself totally miserable before doing the turning over.  An impartial observer might suggest turning things over and then taking some appropriate action.

And of course I find that many times the turning over is done for me.  The turning over as a thump on my head and a slap in my face, and it happens whether or not I want it to.  Some examples are getting fired before I change my behavior; getting dumped before I change my behavior; getting sued before I change my behavior; and sleeping on the couch because I didn't change my behavior.

I change my behavior only when the pain of doing what I'm doing that's causing the pain becomes greater than my resistance to change.  I've read studies that suggest that changing a behavior - eliminating something that is making you uncomfortable or picking up something that you know will be good for you - changing a habit, in other words - takes people a few months to accomplish.  For some of us the inclination to go back to the old ways hangs on for many months, years even.

Something about changing my behavior is resonating in my head right now . . . .