Off the List!

I'm always working the phone as an integral part of my recovery.  I've made some really great friends and confidantes working the phone, finding that I'm a bit more honest and a bit more thorough when I'm going one on one with another recovering alcoholic.  I can stand up in a meeting and regurgitate The Book with the best of them and I can totally BS myself about where I am spiritually with the best of them, too.  But after 15 minutes with someone who knows me well I've pretty much run out of material for my act, forcing me to tell the . . . you know . . . truth. . . about what's going on, as loathsome as this can be.

I do not speak on the phone with someone who has been drinking - it's a waste of my time and a disservice to them, perhaps delaying the additional bad shit they have to endure before admitting that they're powerless.  I do call people first, however, even though most of the time these people don't call me back, especially if they're newish, although a lot of people with some serious sobriety don't call back, either.  I give everyone two chances to call back and then I ruthlessly purge them from my phone - I take them right off! -because if you can't return a couple of phone calls then you're Off the List!

I think there is some residual hangover from my sales-guy days when many, many people didn't return my phone calls, and I had a product that was so attractive that people called me to set up an appointment, and they still didn't return phone calls.  So part of me is offended - OK, annoyed - when I call someone who doesn't call back.  And I'm under no great illusion about my charisma - while I assume that some of the people who don't call back aren't in the habit of returning calls to anyone out of fear or procrastination, I simultaneously recognize that some people see my number, listen to my message, and think: "Meh."  I'm actually better with being disliked than being ignored.

The point is - should you be at all interested in the point - I called a couple of guys last week, one of them my sole sponsee in Vacation City.  Neither of them called back.  One apologized for his rudeness but still didn't call back.  Off the List!!

My sponsee thanked me for the call but he didn't call back, either.  Because I put some importance on the role of a sponsor I talked to him about  . . . you know . . .  calling his sponsor.  I don't remember what his response was but he still didn't call back.

Whenever I begin to overestimate my wisdom . . . 

Off the List!!!