Bozo

The chairwoman at the meeting this morning had an unusual name - I've forgotten her it already because it has nothing to do with me, which is all I really care about.  This name rhymed with some unpleasant body parts, giving her childhood friends plenty of fodder for ridicule.  And it still prompts a lot of questions in her work life that she finds unwelcome.  I trotted out my story about giving the fake names at Starbucks and then forgetting what name I've provided, so that I stand there stupidly, waiting for my overpriced specialty coffee drink, wondering why that asshole Arturo doesn't pick up his drink.

"Arturo!  Arturo, your coffee is ready," they shout.
"Oh, right,"  I think,  "That's me - I'm Arturo."        

I personally find this story $#!!ing hilarious.  It's about me and I'm speaking, telling the story about me, and I find it wonderfully clever and witty.

Bupkus this morning.  Nothing.  I barely got a twitter in the meeting when I spoke, a fact that I found so disconcerting I briefly lost my train of thought, as tenuous and vaporous as those trains tend to be.  I'm knocked off my game when the little $#!! hilarious story I've come up with - working it over and over in my mind until it's perfect instead of listening to other people talk - falls flat.  I guess I think I'm some kind of undiscovered stand-up comedian instead of a garden  variety drunk.

A few people started riffing on the riff and the meeting got kind of goofy.  I spoke first.  I think the story was . . . not exactly anti-social, more along the lines of extra-social . . .  enough that everyone needed for the caffeine to start percolating before they could chime in.  One guy - who sat there with a totally deadpan, blank expression on his face when I was talking - shared that he has a brother who is a famous musician.  When this brother comes into town he takes the family out to very expensive restaurants and tells the maitre d that his name is Bozo.  That way when his table is ready the maitre d has to call out: "Bozo.  Bozo, you're table of 4 is ready."  This causes a stir in these exclusive places.

Care to guess which name I used at Starbucks this morning?