People Are Strange

I've been thinking about myself again.  I find it very pleasant to do this.  I take great comfort in idly pondering my own plights and circumstances, my wants and my wants and my wants, and how I might satisfy them or remove any impediments to their being satisfied.  On the rare occasions when I think about someone other than me it's along the lines of how they can help me get what I want or why they should cease and desist in doing things that get in the way of me getting what I want. 

I guess that we animals are probably hard-wired to be egocentric.  For most of our history we have been scrambling to feed ourselves and stay warm and breed.  IPods and fast cars and other unmentionables are relatively new concepts.  Not so long ago being stout was a sign of prosperity.  It meant that you could afford to eat regularly.  Anyway, I do know that alcoholics have taken self absorption to new and dizzying heights.  We really do spend too much time thinking.

I have always believed that The Fellowship is a program of As Ifs.  Should you have trouble with the idea of a Higher Power, pray As If you believe in one.  If you think your boss or the judge or a neighbor is an idiot, behave as if that person is quite sane.  At least pretend that you're interested in people you see in The Rooms.  I think that I should know a few things about anyone I see at a meeting regularly.  It means I'm listening to them when they talk and not thinking about myself.  I try to mention these things when I talk to these people.  Not that, in my evil core, I give a #$@!! about your job or your ex-wife or your new car, but when I pretend As If I do then a funny thing happens.  I start to generate a little genuine interest, not the fake interest of the active drunk.  I try to resist but it actually becomes more and more natural to care about other people.  I can see the light in someone's eyes burn a little brighter when I inquire after their health and well-being.

I know it blew me away when someone I didn't recognize remembered what I had said a week ago.  It made me want to get to know that individual.  Slowly, achingly slowly, despite all of my efforts to resist caring about other people, it started to happen.

It was weird.